Please Don’t Talk To Me

Daily Prompts

Curve Balls

When was the last time you were completely stumped by a question, a request, or a situation you found yourself in? How did you handle it?

This one’s easy. I get a mini panic attack every time I have to make small talk with strangers. My hands get clammy, my chest tightens, and my voice breaks. It’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to claustrophobia. The last time this happened was yesterday when I was ordering a drink at Starbucks. The employee asked how my day was going and I just mentally collapsed. A dozen appropriate responses flashed across my mind but I couldn’t form the words in my mouth. I think I incoherently stammered some stupid response and stumbled away. Scenarios like these occur about ten to twenty times a week, and I handle it in pretty much the same way I did the Starbucks incident – silently pray that he/she don’t talk to me, mentally freak out, mumble some stupid shit, and walk away. It doesn’t exactly ease my social anxiety issues, but it gets me through those awful conversations.

Ice breaker games are a bit more challenging to deal with. If I mumble something the professor will ask me to clarify, and walking away is not a viable option in a classroom setting. So the only choice I have is to blush and tremble and talk about my fucking life in front of my classmates who hopefully wouldn’t think I’m a freak. It’s more difficult than almost any test I’ve ever taken. A part of me thinks there must be an easier, more effective way to handle these kinds of social curve balls, but personalities aren’t like jackets that you can just shed whenever it gets hot. I can’t just dump my shyness or awkwardness whenever the situation demands it. It’d be amazing to find that hidden extrovert deep inside my mind, but I just don’t think she exists in my world. I’ve never been comfortable talking to stranger, and I don’t believe I ever will be. Social anxiety is just something I have to deal with as an introvert.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/curve-balls/

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4 thoughts on “Please Don’t Talk To Me

  1. i understand you so well. i feel the same about those questions specially by sales-personnel. and what annoys me even more is that they don’t really care. they are supposed to say that maybe to make me feel more comfortable and to spend some more and to come more often. but it doesn’t have that effect on me.

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    1. Hi! Thanks for your comment. I know exactly what you mean. I feel like if I’m curious or need help about something I’d actively seek it. Their intentions are good but it’s kind of off-putting for someone as antisocial as I am. It’s nice to know someone gets me 🙂

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  2. I am an introvert by nature too. Long ago my teacher gave me this advice “if you fake confidence, it will come” ..as odd as it may sound, it actually helped me tremendously. hope it does the same for you. I think the main idea behind that advice is to create a character for yourself and stepping into that character whenever the need arises.

    Liked by 1 person

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