Too Little Too Much

My Awesome Life

It’s already half-way through first semester, or in my case, half-way through doing nothing. And what I’ve realized in the last few months is that people who do absolutely nothing are more vulnerable to stress and bitch fits than people who work their asses off day in day out. Being idle is actually a magnet for bad energy. Why? Well, when you’re busy working or studying, your mind is bombarded with information – dates to remember, papers to file, equations to solve, codes to memorize. Yes, at a certain point, the over-saturation of all that useless crap will drive you insane and you start freaking out, slamming laptops, banging your head, etc. But most of the time while you’re busy, you really have no time to stress out and throw sissy fits because you’re, you know, working all the time. 

Now, if you are like me, whose current daily routine consists of less than five activities, you will find that there is so much time to stress out about every fucking thing in the universe. When you’re eating alone, you think of all the iconic NYC foodporn moments you gathered with your friends. When you’re reading a novel, you think of the textbooks you should be reading and the valuable knowledge you should be absorbing. When you’re watching tennis, you think of the times you were sneakily checking live scores during lectures. Even when you’re taking a shit, you think of the shitty cheap-ass toilet paper you shared with your roomies last year. Everything you do reminds you of what you should be doing. And it sucks.

When you have nothing to worry about, there’s all the time in the world to wish you could be worrying about something. Narcissistic it may be, but I think people my age need to have a sense of purpose. Restlessness can be more stress-inducing than work.

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5 thoughts on “Too Little Too Much

  1. Hum…maybe you are right about restlessness, but just maybe…think of this: how many people are just busying themselves to fogey things that others them but are stuck in the threads anyways? A lot, believe me. The stress doesn’t go away because they are busy, but gets worse…and these are the ones who overtime loose awareness of what is happening to them and will scream at you or kick the dog, for no apparent reason.
    Having a purpose though, is a terrific point and equally valid for all of us with our without jobs. Thanks for the reflection.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s very true. I didn’t express it very well, but I agree being busy does stress you out more than being idle. It’s an entirely different stress, though, and one that I haven’t felt for quite a while. That’s why the stress of trying to find purpose feels a lot more real at the moment. Not sure if that made sense haha. Thank you for your comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You made perfect sense! I am just too analytical, i guess! There is no right or wrong here. Finding one’s purpose is stressful and can take a lifetime.. Ops. Not because it takes time, but because it may change.
        Thanks for replying. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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