Most of us probably can’t help but believe in karma. It’s always hovering somewhere in the back of our minds: What if the same thing happens to me after I do this? Will I get an A on my test if I give that man two bucks? Cause and effect. Do good and expect good. The concept of karma is as old as Confucius. But the other day I randomly started wondering what it meant to believe in karma, to let karma dictate our actions. What kind of person am I if I only do good things or avoid doing bad things because I don’t want bad things to happen to me??
Okay, firstly I just want to set the record straight by saying that I do believe in karma. I try not to because I hate the idea that some powerful, invisible, son of a bitch of an entity has control over my future. I hate the idea that the consequences of my actions are manipulated by some otherworldly force. But all the same, the whole cause and effect bullshit still lingers in my subconscious whenever I’m making a decision. And I can’t help but think that believing in karma is such a selfish thing to do. One time when I was in line waiting to swipe into the subway station, a woman in front of me started freaking out because her metro card ran out of money and there was no recharge machine at that particular station. Being the wonderful, compassionate human being I am, I offered to swipe my card for her. She thanked me profusely and ran inside. But instead of feeling ecstatic and saintly or whatever for having helped a distressed woman, I thought, “Sweet, next time someone will probably swipe for me when I forget to charge my card.” Well, I’ll tell you that never happened. The few times when my card ran out of money at a machineless station, people behind me just waited impatiently for me to hurry the fuck up and leave. Fuckin assholes. I guess that’s my karma for trying to exploit karma. Fucking karma.
Honestly, I don’t know what the point of this post is. What I want to say is that in an ideal world, everyone does shit for the hell of it. We help people because it feels good, because we want to, not because we want those things to happen to us. We don’t steal or rape or kill because it’s wrong and repulsive, not because we don’t want those things to happen to us or people we love. Of course, many of us do that already. I certainly think there is no justification for murder or rape, as well as many other crimes. And as incredible as it may be, I sometimes hold the door open for people because, would you believe it, I fuckin want to. But my point is that truly selfless actions are rare. We usually have a motive for whatever shit we decide to do. We’re scheming, selfish creatures, and I love us that way.
As for the title of my post…it’s a sly reference to Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life. I absolutely will not elaborate on it. Check it out at your own peril.