Yay May

Musings/Rants

Hi. I’m going to crash in about 29 seconds so this will be a quick post. May is always the last month of the school year, so in about two weeks I’ll be essentially a junior. Half of my college career has come and gone. I can’t even begin to describe the aching emptiness that realization stirs up in my heart. I’m more than happy with the strides I’ve made this semester, socially, emotionally, and professionally…but whenever I look back I just can’t stop wondering how much better my life would be right now had I made different decisions, had I been courageous enough to trust my gut. Regrets are such a bitch to deal with. Yes they help you reflect and mature, but honestly I’d go back to being that retarded immature kid if I could roll back the seconds and erase some booby tracks on my road map. I don’t care about lessons. I just want those years back.

You know how people always say mistakes and regrets teach you shit? That with them you’ll be a better, more complete person? So rather than loathing them you should appreciate them? But I just don’t, you know? Whenever I reminisce on my regrets (which I guarantee you is a lot of the fucking time), I don’t think about the lessons they’ve taught me. I think about the things I should have and could have done instead but will never be able to because time doesn’t rotate counterclockwise.

Yeah well I’m still crying over spilled milk. Can’t help it.

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6 thoughts on “Yay May

  1. Hey, I know that feeling! Regrets are hard to deal with, but it does get better. I never thought it would and it did, though it took a while. I love the look of your blog, btw, and your honest writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Do you believe in fate?
    Sometimes we are destined to be a path that we would never have chosen i would like to quote Elif Shafak here
    “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hang in there! I felt the same when I was in my early 20s. Funny how time matures you.. you look back and realize all that struggles and regret was all worth it.
    Its easy to say but learn to enjoy life as it is. I wish I did back then.

    Liked by 1 person

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